I know what the bottom feels like. It feels like drowning. Like the destiny I always feared coming for me had settled in to stay. It feels like there is no way out and I don’t know what to do. It feels like despair, anxiety, fear and hopelessness all rolled into one. It feels like never having the energy again to pull through life, and all opportunity of knowing what to do when you hit rock bottom has ceased. It feels like rock bottom will last forever.
It is hard. Deeply, deeply hard.
And here’s the thing: I came out the other side. As we always do. I didn’t know I could or would when I was in there when I had lost so much and suffered so much. When I was raising kids right in the middle of it all with little space for my own brokenness to heal.
The moment came when I allowed myself hope, in fact not hope, it was more like a glimmer of knowing that there was a way through. It was holding that knowing stronger and stronger each day and affirming to myself I just needed to be open to the way revealing itself. Trusting the way would find me.
This was a journey. It started with the painful process of taking responsibility for my part in where I was.
Ugh that was painful and I didn’t like seeing parts of myself. There was a part of me that didn’t want to let go of being a victim. It felt hard to believe I was more than my circumstances. Sometimes the comfort of my misery felt easier than stepping forward, reclaiming my power and choosing a new way. Sometimes it felt like 2 steps forward 1 step back.
This is normal. I am human. We all find change hard. We all have our inner demons, limiting beliefs and fears to navigate. But we continue to move through despite it all.
So when I allow all of me to exist, I have more room to navigate rock bottom with more confidence and trust.
If you find yourself hitting rock bottom, beloved woman, there is a way through! I can attest as you’ve read.
Here’s what to do when you hit rock bottom:
- Be kind to yourself. Self punishment, berating yourself, minimising your experience keeps you down. It’s time to rise. That’s the blessing of rock bottom, you can only go up.
- Take care of yourself before anyone else. When you are in distress, despair, pain, numbness or in the grips of rock bottom, you need nourishment and self care. You need to remember you have needs and they deeply matter. Resources are low so filling your cup may be best done in small and regular doses… a bath, a break from kids, a self care day off work, time in nature, creativity, making something beautiful, watching a movie, lighting a candle, pulling oracle cards, writing, resting, pampering… whatever feels good to you, fills your cup and feels easy – yes you may need to ask for help to create this space and that’s perfect. You are worthy of it.
- Love yourself just a little bit more! Yes! You deserve it. You would love a friend who was struggling, so give yourself the same permission. Remember that you are a valuable, wildly incredible woman and you will birth yourself into a new life again
- Find that knowing in your heart that you are more than this circumstance and let that glimmer of possibility begin to ignite. Your circumstances do not define your worth, your capacity or the possibilities that await you.
- Take responsibility. It can be painful and you may not like seeing parts of yourself. There may be parts of you that you don’t want to let go of – old beliefs, fears and painful life moments. Change requires us to face what’s not working and make new choices. Let your past inform a better future. By taking responsibility and facing our role in our life to date, we rarely make the same mistakes twice. Instead we take our powerful learnings and make smart, heart aligned choices and take powerful steps forward.
- Keep faith. You will get through this!
Rock bottom is not the end, beloved woman. It’s the middle. Keep going. I wonder where your beautiful life will move from here. I choose for you that it’s somewhere aligned with the beauty in your soul and the gifts and purpose you came here to express.
Find that knowing of possibility in your heart and let that glimmer begin to ignite. Take care of yourself first. Love yourself just a little bit more. Take responsibility and remember that you are a valuable, wildly incredible woman and you will birth yourself into a new life again. Keep faith.