Your inner control freak gives you a FALSE sense of security…and often creates tension in relationships. The opposite of what you want, right? If you want ease, meet your unmet needs, don’t control everything.
Easier said than done…
You know that part of you, that when you feel under threat or overwhelmed, rears its head and wants to control and manage everything and everyone around you? This part is rather stubborn.
I know for me, she’s not the most attractive aspect! But, she is an indicator that I need some time out to look after my own needs healthily and if I don’t, it will likely lead to conflict in my relationship/s. Noone likes to be micromanaged by a control freak.
It took me a long time to have any awareness of her.
I masked my unmet needs through this kind of control:
~ Impeccable organisation
~ Ensuring everything ran smoothly
~ Ensuring everyone in the family’s physical needs were met
~ Micromanaging those around me
and above all,
the controlling aspect in me tried to ensure my wellbeing was kept under control by standing firmly so nothing externally could rock my metaphoric boat.
The reality is that she causes more stress and tension than just about anything else.
“But how do I appease her tendency for control, inflexibility and demanding there is a way and everyone should follow it…. and address the reason she shows up in the first place?”
When you notice her presence you:
~ Take time out for self care and space to breath
~ Work out what your true priorities are rather than micro managing everything
~ Acknowledge what you are really feeling or are afraid of and if it’s a true threat address it or if they’re fears, acknowledge them
~ Ask yourself “what do I really need”?
We are allowed to have feelings…
When life gets too much, overwhelm can be present, (which as women we’re prone to because we say yes so much and care for others). Instead of controlling everything around us, let’s choose to create space to care for ourselves and actively manage our own wellbeing.
Micromanaging our outer world never actually eases overwhelm, it exacerbates it.
It never creates better relationships or meets the needs of others, instead it creates conflict and a wonderful ego driven distraction for what we actually need…
It’s much better to acknowledge our needs, meet them and create space for ourselves to breathe and feel! So, if you want ease… meet your unmet needs and don’t control everything. This reduces the power of our inner control freak.
PS You may like to download our Manifesting Journal to help bring your goals and intentions into focus